Narcissism
Have you ever known anyone with it? I have and it wasn't until recently I found out what it was and that it was in fact what he was. I had been best friend with someone for the past four years and was treated very poorly but continued to be his friend not thinking anything was wrong. They are very clever people and have a very charming demeanor and ways to get what they want from you and they know when to say and do things that you want to hear.
They may
lie about you or paint a bad picture of you to gain sympathy from others and to
justify their own bad behavior. You probably have no idea all of the lies he is
telling you and the bad things he may be saying about you to others ...They may criticize and put people down
behind their backs and have an inflated sense of entitlement and ego, thinking
he deserves things that he hasn't worked for or earned and manipulate situations
for attention, acting a bit too good to be true. This can fool people and so few
of them will believe how he talks to his family in private. He may treat you and
the kids with loathing and/or moral dominance and suffer from all different
kinds of conceit including that he is of superior intelligence, looks or
physical prowess or he may be cold, withdrawn arrogant and unavailable. His
criticism, insults and lack of involvement or concern for your well being or
feelings may cause anxiety and depression in your self and/or your kids, as well
as cause you other mental health and psychological problems and addictions.
Many narcissists are obsessed by the fantasy of an
ideal relationship that is ‘perfect’ (and therefore fantasy!) and are skilled
liars. If the above symptoms describe your partner you should be aware that he
may habitually have secret crushes on other women, be having affairs, using
pornography, and/or conducting ‘cyber’ affairs (lying that they are single) all
without your knowledge. If you notice that his mind is often elsewhere, and he
shows narcissistic tendencies, this might be the reason. This obsession with his
fantasy life is part of what makes him unavailable, impatient and angry with
you. It is a major symptom of this personality disorder. You may not want to
consider this possibility, I know I didn’t believe it until the evidence was
right in front of me ... And then I was shattered. It's very hard to detach yourself from one because you feel that you let them down. I am still getting over the hurt of him just tossing our friendship aside after 4 years because he had found a new friend and I wasn't needed anymore.
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